Thursday, May 03, 2007

A New Beginning


It's been a while since I've updated this blog. Being pregnant and preparing for our little arrival has kept me preoccupied and somewhat distracted. With so many changes happening physically, mentally and emotionally, it was hard for me to focus a lot of my thoughts on myself and my journey, knowing how dramatically it was about to change.

David and I welcomed our first child, Paige Marie Weck, to the world on Sunday, April 22nd and we couldn't be more in love. No matter how tired I am or how sore my boobs get, all I have to do is look at her sweet little face and my heart melts.

The theme of this blog so far has been "Finding My Balance", something I've been consciously working toward for many years now. Just when you think you've made some progress and are headed in one direction, life changes and tells you to adapt.

Babies don't care about what type of routine or schedule we've set for ourselves - they need us to live on their time for a while. For someone like me who thrives on her own routine, this is a true exercise in patience and flexibility. Babies really do need their Mothers and I believe that the love and bonding that is shared in the first months of life builds a solid foundation for future growth and stability.

So, my schedule has been put on hold... for a while. I'm learning that perhaps Finding My Balance means something much greater than myself - outside of myself, really. I am now seeking to find my balance in a more external, worldly sense as opposed to the more internal, individual sense I'd been searching for. Balance in relation to others is ultimately more fulfilling because it means that you are evolving in response to and in concert with your interactions with the world. It is what will ultimately make us feel more connected, stable and secure.

Thus, I am embarking upon a new journey of finding my balance with a different perspective. It's not all about me anymore. It's about me in relation to my role as mother and wife, as a daughter and a friend. It's about knowing who I am so that I can give and share myself with the people in my life. I think that living more outside of myself will unlock the doors I've been trying to open internally. I already know that my heart has expanded emmensely as David and I have begun to create our family.