A New Focus

Happy 2007!

Once again, the holidays came and went. I always like the beginning of a New Year because of the opportunity it offers to take stock of where we are, where we've been and where we would like to go.

I am usually filled with a mixture of excitement and exhaustion over the holidays; the excitement of spending time with friends and family not often seen and the exhaustion from a lot of self-imposed stress. Every year I try to find at least one way to ease a stress I typically experience over the holidays and this year, it was the expectations associated with gift giving. In years past, I felt the need to purchase multiple gifts for a number of people but as my family is growing, the stress of continuing to do so has become greater. This year, I decided that it was perfectly fine for me to find one great gift for each family member and to fully enjoy giving it to them. Doing that really helped aleviate some of the stress of shopping and allowed me to appreciate the experience more. After all, it's quality, not quantity, right?

I did notice something interesting as the holiday started to wind down... everyone I have talked to (myself included) has summed up their holiday experience by saying, "It was very nice (or) I had a great time but IT'S NICE TO BE HOME." It would be interesting to know what each individual person means by that. I know that for me, it was nice to be home so that I could get back into my routine. I find that whenever I travel for family events, some of my independence is lost and perhaps that is what is nice to return to. After a week, I am ready to eat the food I want to eat, exercise the way I prefer to exercise, go where I want to go, do what I want to do, etc. Large gatherings of people usually involve some sort of compromise on the part of each person there which can, over time, start to feel exhausting.

It's always a good feeling to enjoy coming home. It reaffirms a certain satisfaction we have with our lives and how we live them. However, one of my goals for future travels and family events is to create an experience for myself that still feels like home. I believe it is possible to do - it just needs to be done with conviction and confidence. Many times, we compromise important pieces of ourselves when we are away from home because it is "easier" or because we are afraid that our choices might not meet with approval. I believe that only to be true if we allow it to be. This year can be different, if we want it to be!

A lot of things can be different, if we want them to be. So much of what we experience in life is colored by how we react to people, situations, emotions, etc. It isn't easy but keeping perspective on our lives and where we are in any given moment is important to do. I believe that things will be OK if you decide that they will be OK. I also believe the opposite, that if you tell yourself that everything is not OK, that it isn't. Sure, we all have moments in life which aren't OK but the way you choose to deal with the situation presented is what ultimately makes things alright or not.

Upon arriving home, I received an e-mail sharing news of the death of a fellow fitness (yoga) instructor here in San Diego on December 28. He wasn't much more than 30 years old and died in a car accident on the freeway. I didn't know him personally but have taken his yoga class and I was always touched and impressed by the beauty of his spirit. He had the kind of energy that made you feel like everything is right in the world, like you can take a deep breath and heave a sigh of relief. His gentle presence made you feel like, for that moment in time, everything was OK. Knowing that he is gone, it is a feeling I want to remember and hold on to. It is a feeling that I want to embody and pass on to others because I am so grateful for having experienced it through him. He was like a vessel of peace, comfort and harmony - a truly beautiful soul. My hope, for myself and for all those who experienced him in the same way, is to not let his spirit die, but to help it to live on.

The energy we transmit is contageous. Unfortunately, there is a lot of negative energy out there, generated by the way we deal with our life experiences. People can feel that - deeply. I've seen a commercial on TV about depression which asks the question, "Who does depression hurt?" The answer being, "Everyone".

My focus this year will be to keep my energy in check. I want people to remember me the way I am remembering Sean - as someone who makes you feel good, who you look forward to seeing, who makes you feel like everything is OK.

Then, I will feel as if I have made a difference.