Making Decisions

In my opinion, the eighth deadly plague should have been the curse of indecision! A person's decision making process is so critical that it can (and does) literally change the course of your life. Yesterday, I was out running in my neighborhood on the sidewalk. It is proper etiquitte to run on a sidewalk in the same way that cars drive on the road - staying to the right. However, many times, I find that I am running head on toward a person who is walking toward me staying to their left. At this point, if you don't share the same notion of "rules of the road", how do you decide who is going to move? If you wait too long, inevitably you will crash. It made me realize that the best thing to do is to choose your path and stick to it. I've found that if I am strong and decisive up front, whoever or whatever I am up against will adjust their course accordingly. Because I was moving faster than the woman walking toward me, I decided to move over to my left, allowing her to continue straight along her path, essentially running around her. What I noticed is that she did not have a clear plan and became flustered when I moved, slowing down and shrugging her shoulders as if to ask "Where should I go?". I knew where I was going and I also knew that I wasn't putting her in any danger but she seemed uncertain and hesitant thus increasing the likelihood that we would collide!

I use this as an example because I believe that we encounter different forms of indecision every day and I also believe that it is a symptom of a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem. Everyone struggles with confidence and esteem issues at some (or many!) point(s) in their life and it usually shows up in our behavior. I've learned that it is important to discover and define "who you are" at various stages in your life. I am a different person today than I was in high school, in college, and even just a few years ago. Change is inevitable and in America, we constanatly have the gift and opportunity to reinvent ourselves and allow for those changes to happen. I don't want to be the same person my whole life. The foundation and root of my being won't change but aspects of my personality and my likes/dislikes will - and that's OK. What is important, then, is to understand that and constantly take the time to check in with yourself and learn about who you are today so that when faced with decisions or choices in life, you know how to respond.

If you find that you are constantly asking yourself what you would have done in any given situation as a person you were 2,5,or 10 years ago, then you really aren't living in the present moment, drawing from the years of experience you have had since then, appreciating how those experiences have shaped you into who you are today, right now. It can be hard to let go of the past but keeping your life in balance requires you to bring yourself up to speed and connect with yourself in the present moment.

The truth is that we really aren't anyone other than who we are right now, this minute. Decide to get to know, understand and respect that person and discover how much easier it is to be decisive.